lying in bed still

daylight outside

you listen to

the ringing in your head

the cat’s purr

as you pet him

he kneads you

settled on your chest

breathing heavily

your wife’s already asleep

again you wonder

why you are here

and why you won’t be

before you know it

the roar of laughter

next door reminds you

of your partying youth

back when you lived

more and thought less

about the whole mess

you’re in and don’t understand

you dig this grave again

and again of course you love

your cat the woman

dreaming next to you

your sons friends beauty

and all the sensory delights

but that love story

shit anyway you spin it

is a story you tell

while you’re in it

your nirvana is your mantra

while you’re going to bed

and getting up

to slog on and search

for that piece of the cosmic

puzzle to claim

your space on the game board

so you make you solve

you settle into this

living and doing sweetly

alone you strive to break free

of the loop yourself

find togetherness share

the happiness of being

forever alone


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