Maybe the wagon wheels out front
or the ropes bordering the menus
drove me to make a beeline
for the horseshoe window booth
in the old West Broadway 4B’s,
slide across that slick-hard plastic,
brass tacked and barn red,
and grip the rim of the Formica table-top
like the lap handle on the Tilt-a-Whirl
at the carnival each summer (the best
ride!) at the Western Montana Fair.
Our Dale Evans costumed waitress
handed out menus with cartoon bees
buzzing over a corral scene of horses,
fences, lariats, and cow-folk covered
in wipe-clean plastic sleeves—
no ketchup or coffee stains. Each
of the bees had a human face, cut-out
photos of Bill, Billy, Buddy, and Barbara,
the 4 B’s was a real family cafe.
Our waitress sashayed back
in her hooped skirt, flipped over
and poured my folks coffee cups
to the brim, pulled a pencil from her hair,
beehive, and started taking orders: one
Cubed Steak with fries and Thousand Island
for Dad; a Chicken Fried Steak for Mom,
Blue Cheese dressing; a Hamburger
for my sister, no onion, and a large Coke;
my brother always ordered the BLT
and Vanilla shake (which my dad
usually changed to a glass of milk).
When she looked at me and asked,
“What can I get cha, Hon?” I ordered
the liver and onions, a large Root Beer.
She laughed and looked at my folks
who shrugged, so she started collecting
menus, “You sure you’re not pullin’ my leg?”
She smiled. I shook my head. My mother
assured her it wasn’t a joke, I really
loved liver and onions. Miss Kitty
winked at me, “In twenty years of hashing,
Sweetie, no child’s ever ordered that
from me.” Mother nodded, Dad grinned,
my sister rolled her eyes,
and my brother glared at me.
On her way to the kitchen
the waitress turned and said,
“Are you sure he doesn’t want a
Pabst Blue Ribbon with that?”
The men sitting at the table next to us
turned and laughed. One suggested
a side of hearts & gizzards. Then more
people around us laughed. And I
wondered how they knew or why it was
so funny—but I liked it just the same.
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